Sitting at 36,000 feet and trying to stay awake to avoid jet-lag is rough. Your mind tends to wander easily. Reminisce about home. Think about future travel. Relax to Duncan Sheik. Believe that Cointreau really is the perfect liquor. Wonder if 42 really is the meaning of life, the universe and everything.
Right now, I’m thinking about change.
I tend to forget that, even with Janine pregnant, I’m about to be a dad. You’d think it would be pretty frickin’ obvious and easy for me to grasp, but the whole idea is still taking its sweet time sinking in. Janine still acts and sounds like herself on the phone or when talking to her face-to-face. It’s when I manage look a little further south that I get a subtle reminder that huge change is in the works.
MY Dad is a dad. He’s “Dad.” He’ll always be “Dad.” I’m just the kid. I’ve always been “Austin” and, if you talk to any of my sisters, “my annoying brother.” The whole idea of me being a dad is a huge mind-fuck. I mean I’ve thought about it… but kinda like how people think about keeping New Years Resolutions.
This is where 36,000 feet helps put things in perspective and let me think about the good and the bad. It’s difficult to put into words; my mind puts it into pictures, stories and vignettes. Coming home and not having just the dog be there to greet me at the door. Reading bed time stories and telling stories. Not only talking about work, but about school. Different scenarios play themselves through as I sit inside a dark metal tube miles above an ocean of blue.
I know in reality that things may be different than the movies in my head, but at least the liquor is keeping the thoughts positive.
Posted by Austin at March 21, 2009 12:00 PM