I'm in Cininnati this week at a conference for work. I had no idea it was so far south, the hotel is actually on the other side of the river in KY. This has been my first real look at the southern US as an adult, and I've learned something about myself.

I'm not a racist, but I am a linguist.

I don't know what sets me off, but that slooow southern draaawl drives me nuts! It sounds so ignorant, and even if you're making perfect sense it flips my radar up so that I'm constantly analyzing what you say. That and the southern picture of lazily sitting on a big white porch somewhere, sipping mint juleps. If you want action-packed productivity you need New York or Boston or (with avocados) California.

This stereotype was reinforced yesterday when someone ran a red and nearly smashed into me as I was turning left. I honked as they blew past, and she stuck her head out the window and yelled "I've got no brakes!", followed by the bird for honking at her. She then proceeded to brake just fine as she pulled into the parking lot of a liquor store, I kid you not.